When God humped Satan!!

Jun 3, 2008

Pain In My Ass(objective & strange as fuck)

Yeay!! Another month gone & another post!! WTF? Its been like a divine disconnection that I have been experiencing with maintaining blogs. Since the last two weeks, believe it or not, its been like that everytime before I hit the sack, I have this inner discussion spoken outside "Fuck,I gotta post something man, its almost a month since the tagdom came & I know I sucked". So now I kind of feel being kicked in my butt to Get the fuck up & start writing. Oh! Guess what?? I haven't picked up a pen for almost a month as well after exams, the results of which will be declared God knows when. Till then, life's okay with me & so are my parents.

After exams, I was off to Silchar to be with our extended joint family, meet up with my under-age drunk cousins, stern uncles & OTT aunts. And a big 'fuck you' to junk food for the disease called piles that you have bestowed me with & hence being a pain in my arse literally & figuratively !!

Yes, yes, I have got piles & it's not a great feeling when I say so. Actually, my uncle who is a surgeon over there says its called "External Piles"or "Fistula"I would rather stick to "pain in the backside" as it doesn't sound that ghastly!

How do you know you have it? Have a test called Colonoscopy done! And mind you this is the worst part. They fucking shove a 3 metre pipe up your ass to see if there's any damage inside. And perhaps the worser part is getting naked & show-off your flat ass to two beautiful nurses. But that's a skill I have perfected by now!! And my uncle even video records the same for "family viewing". Dude that's gross, isn't it? Pity no one was interested & watched IPL & not my ass & so he preserves it for research purposes. *Sobs* no body wanna watch me get laid by a doc!! I mean who has the tenacity to stand a thin guy like me squealing his fuckin guts out like a pig being roasted for dinner & doctors asking the nurses to "Hold his butt properly or the pipe might snap"

A few doses of medicines, syrups, Isabgol & Phew!! now it's gone. So, huge thanks to the greatest surgeon ever & two middle fingers for the guy who made this pipe!!

btw...It seems that I have learnt a lot about how to control myself & so I am back to junk food again!!


Apr 26, 2008

Tag Dhina Dhin AGAIN!!

My first attempt at tagging was a complete disaster for sure for sure!! I was tagged by Necropolis at that time. This time its Karthik. It still beats me why you have to play this tag thingy!! Anyway, Hope I fare better this time around!!

5 things you wish you could say to people

1) You look sooo fuckable tonight(even if it's the day)
2) I hate the very sight of you!!
3) Fuck You!!
4) Do you use a dildo??
5) You suck

8 things about me
1) My real name is NOT Shayan
2) I am from Assam
3) I used to be a prick & a pain in the backside for most, if not all, when I was young.
4) I use Orkut mostly to check out hot Brazilian profiles!!
5) Have been a metalhead since the age of 13.
6) I download!music & its NOT stealing!!
7) I blast people having narrow minds regarding religion, sex, marriages, society, etc.(includes my parents too)
8) .....................

One way to win my heart

Through my pants

5 things that cross my mind a lot

Any music that I listen to before doing something
Nude women
Party materials
Mishti Doi/Rasgollah

One thing I wish I never did
Had sex with a fat woman

Three turn offs
1) Emo chicks
2) Bad body odour...some people even put on dollops of perfume to douse that but it has a not so pleasing smell.

4 things i want to do before I die
1) Watch the biggest, the bestest, the amazingest metal festivals on earth!
2) Do Bungee-Jumping
3) Fuck an European chick.
4) I actually want to know how the biggest scamsters who fraud banks, governments, etc. of HUGE amounts of money do their shit!

One confession
Read 1. 5 things you wish you could say to people 2. 8 things about me

This was my second tag actually, me could not complete the earlier one by Necropolis. The first attempt at tagging was a complete disaster. Hope this was not that bad.

Apr 1, 2008

Shit ....Exams!!

Yaaawwwn, man I am so fucking bored of life these days!! How am I spending my time?? ummm, well, I got exams, bloody exams. Every time I hear exams, I frigging wet my pants. Yesterday was the first paper. I can say I would not flunk this time hopefully. I have not had the time to update this space too. Oh!! thought I would update you with a few happenings with you care!!

I changed my earlier blog URL to this.
I have grown out of the "apodartho" phase of my life, I guess.

After the exams are over, probably I would create another blog on music sharing. Anyone interested to partner me can contact me here in the comments section with their blog address(if any) and/or their e-mail address.

I am thinking of changing the template of this one too. It's too glaring for my eyes. If you got a nice site to recommend, please do so.

One interesting thing about exams is the way the professors give me a strange look & some even go at length about why I should lessen the mop of hair on my head and also trim the goatee.
Yeah!! Fuck You Sir.

In between the exams, I went for the Wipro placements & got it too. So, that means I now have two jobs at hand right now including the IBM one I got earlier. One requires me to shift to Gurgaon and the other to Kolkata., me presumes I would choose the land of the communists this time around. If you guys got any inputs, do leave me a note.

After these exams are over and provided I do not flunk, I would be a graduate. Does that mean I can TEACH schoolkids. Wonder what I can teach them??

Getting back to the topic, a constant aberration during exams is the presence of a hot professor guarding the hall. Another source of disturbance is downloaded porn. Hail Bittorrent!!. And then..............nevermind.

*off to watching porn, wetting pants & then studies. FTW!! *

*EDIT: Template changed. Now looking for new designs!!

Feb 25, 2008


So here's how it is!! A few days ago(or maybe weeks) in an editorial of a newspaper, an editorial came out praising the benevolence & awareness of the Indian youth. The writer went blindly praising the good deeds of our youth that after a few paragraphs, it became quite boring & frankly speaking killed my Sunday morning. "The Indian youth of today is courageous to take out a candle-lit procession in the streets of the Capital. He is good enough to force a CBI enquiry into the suicide of Rizwanur Rahman. Rahul Gandhi is an icon for the young generation as he himself is a young politician". But wait is Rahul not 40? And he is young?? For fuck's sake, give me a break. But what Mr. Educated Born In India, Bought Up Outside doesn't mention/notice or overlooks is the underlying mess that the Indian youth is in. Shocked?

Here are a few pointers:-

1) A group of females molested in Mumbai by, guess who....Young Indians.

2) North-Eastern girls in Delhi are eve-teased & harassed by young North Indians for not conforming to Indian traditions & dress-sense.

3) A rape-a-minute occurs in some rural & urban area of the country & the Indian youth partakes in it.

4) A million people graduate each year. 10% go out in search of greener pastures. 20% get absorbed into government jobs through bribes & passing staged interviews. 30% sit at home hoping to land a government job next year. 15% get jobs in private companies & curse their lives. 25% becomes tomorrow's drug addicts, peddlers, Abu Salems, suicide bombers, ULFA recruits.

5) We, the Indian youth can fight only on paper(read passive processions & rallies), not in action(read active participation in politics).

6) We will strip an Adivasi in the middle of a road of a state capital & shout "Thike hoise tahator logot"(Its good that it happened to you)!!

Oh & did you know that India is perhaps the youngest country in the world. 550 million are in the age group of 18 to 35 years. 55% of India falls under the young brigade. If the facts pointed before are any indication where the Indian youth is headed, then this youth certainly has
gone wild. India is screwed!!

Feb 8, 2008

Not Dead

The last few weeks have been, well, quite normal actually. Hence, the inactivity in this blogspace. How were these days?? Well, my PC crashed...I lost all important data in my C drive, my blog backup went kaput & then yesterday, thinking myself to be The Ultimate Download Pirate bumped onto a torrent claiming itself to be Metallica's Unreleased Album(Demos 2008). Now that was something!! No more second thoughts & I got myself this one after checking the comments section of the torrent which appeared OK to me & twas also a live torrent. But, then what?? After finishing with it. I just checked into the Metallica fan club websites & then everything went awry. What was supposed to be Metallica's Latesht albomb was actually an album by a band called "Eternal Decision" whose vocalist sounded dangerously like Hetfield pre AJFA/MOP era. Here are the songs for you guys. Check 'em out. They are not actually that bad. Actually for those who can't side with Metallica's new sound, this band is actually worth listening. And speaking of Metallica's REAL album release date...well they themselves know. I presume its September 2008[read more.....].I just hope it doesn't turn out to be another 'Chinese Democracy' in the making!

Here are the songs if you want 'em!

1. Trashed

2. I.N.U.

3. Under Influences

4. Set Me Free

5. Devour

6. Dead Cell

7. Fetish

8. Throne Of Ivory

9. Back To Anger

10. The Soul Right

Children Of Bodom : BloodRunk(2008) album

Children Of Bodom : BloodRunk(2008). mp3

@Tentacles of Thought
Iron Maiden - Women In Uniform (1980)

Arch Enemy - Rise Of The Tyrant(2007) 3 songs

1) Intermezzo Liberte

2) Night Falls Fast

3) Revolution Begins\m/

From Inflames' latest album:-

In Flames
The mirror's truth mp3

In Flames
The Chosen Pessimist mp3

InFlames - A Sense of Purpose(2008) album

Massive Charge - Silence(2007) album

Judas Priest - Nostradamus[Single](2008)

Def Leppard - Songs From The Sparkle Lounge(2008) album

Disturbed - Indestructible(2008)

*UPDATE*: Guys, I am thinking of creating a blog for sharing the music that we love i.e. rock/metal. If you are into it in a big way & have a good collection of music, just e-mail me at or just scrap me on my Orkut account.

Jan 25, 2008

Encounter with the communist n00b

It has become quite common for me to encounter weird personas on Orkut(that is where I roam after all). There are Himass fags, there are people comparing Linkin Pork's record sales to Megadeth's musical abilities & there is the third kind. Let's name that kind the communist nOOb. Why? You ask! Read on the following carefully & get an idea how true the old saying "Little knowledge is worse than no knowledge" stands its ground even to this date. Actually a guy came to my scrapbook a week or so ago thinking me to be a girl(thanks to my display pic) & we started a conversation......I wont make any observations on the stuff he said or I answered....I will let you people have a say & draw a conclusion.

Apodartho Shayan = Me(A.S.)
Saleem = Communist n00b(C.N.)

C.N. - Hi
A.S. - Yo
C.N. - Yaar wer ufrm?
A.S. - m from Guwahati
& u??
C.N. - frm kerala....Guwahati s n orrisa?
A.S. - its in Assam for god's sake
C.N. - oh sorry dear...after all im only a human bin, not a livin encyclopdia.....
anyway how s assam dear?
A.S. - we r doin good actually
how about kerala??

u know what i hv been to Kerala once & gotta say Kovalam beach is fantastic.
C.N. - nxt 2 heaven
A.S. - lol....ya i know

u been to the north east ever??
C.N. - yaar who ruled assam now?
A.S. - Congress under Tarun Gogoi
C.N. - s dir govt....s t strng ?{how! dey r only intrstd n
playing groupism...} crrct ?

A.S. - dude every1 plays the same game...

who's perfect??
C.N. - yaar i thin u r wrong....say dem 2 come & learn frm u hav any idea
abt communism?

A.S. - yes i do.....& talk about communism...no1 can forget
i wont go into communism v/s socialism v/s liberalism v/s capitalism crap now!!
C.N. - wot dd u know about nandi isuue?
communism s immortal b cze its a scientific truth.....
bfre blme it u shld learn.......
A.S. - wateva man.....i dont care ... i dont give a shitty 2 cent about communism & all
....i know about Nandi issue b'cos nandi issue took place near my home state in
W.B. ..... so ya i know more of it than u do!!

C.N. - wat things r u know dear about nandi ?[uses a smiley]
A.S. - I m talkin 'bout Nandigram, u ignorant mofo!
C.N. - im also
A.S. - Dude u r talkin about CPM, have u ever even heard of Marxism or "Das

C.N. - das kapital? bhai i never heard a thing with such a name ......i thin its de name
of a food, im i?[uses another smiley]

A.S. - strange...u took 5 days to come up with that..

and that has been it.....a fantastic week of irony & knowing a bit about what communism really is from the greatest communist ever to have walked this earth......haven't heard from him for 3 days. I am waiting for some more precious gems out of that fag.

P.S. :- Do not take it as an insult to communists but you know something's NOT right when people like Saleem claim to know everything from India's geography to political make-up of the country & also comunism history.

Jan 12, 2008

Happy Birthday To Me!!

21 candles !! One MAMMOTH 21 kilo cake!! Semi-nude girls cheering in broken chorus. Happy budday to you! Happy budday dear Shayan! Happy Budday tooo yeewww!!!

So yeah..I just turned 21 on the 10 th & I still do not get the circus behind this HBTY horseshit.

Birthdays are like yet another fucked up, nonsensical & lame attempt at aping Western ideology. Now don't stop reading my shit & start a morcha against me for being anti mushy & anti candyfloss. I mean like Why do I celebrate a day when you realise you are one year older which equals to one year taken out of my life which equals to I will die one year sooner...That is scary.

Gifts I got??

NOTHING...Just 30+ Scrapbook entries & an overloaded mobile inbox.

Oh & the 1st few lines were just imaginary. I laze through my b'day by drowning myself in copious amounts of rum. Would love beer too but at 8 C?? Neah!! Come back home at around 10 pm after gulping down a can of deoderant & of course a meethapaan. You don't wanna get caught on your b'day. Have dinner...yum(maacher jhol & the trappings of a Bengali food chart)....Fire on the mp3 player.....put on some Motorhead, Carcass & Napalm Death. Hell yeah! And then.................ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz.

Tag Dhina Dhin

So like I was going through some blogs & found this shit called Blogrolling. Sounds nice!! So now, I will have a list of blogs which altough I can't make sense of, I put up with. But I still cannot figure out if Blogroll = Tagging = Link Exchange.

But ...uhh nevermind. Here goes my pehla list
Necropolis, Gauri, Dipti, Praneeth, Nothingman, Soul Intoxicated, Wayfaerer.

Will it get me more readers? Will I get me more comments? Will it make me rich? Man, I am such a narcissistic cockmunch. Cheers you fuckers, will be putting in some more blogs later. Till then Fuck The World.

P.S. :- Go to the end of this blog NOW......yes right now........y'all see that big fat green ad?? Click on it right away!! Do it right now & help me earn some easy bucks just by doing nothing!

Jan 4, 2008

Your God, Your Lie

The following lines go out to you know whom & you know why!!
Read on

This end is near,
A new world awaits him
No more tridents or swords for him
He has slaughtered wombs
Under the garb of religion.
That red still stains him
Reminding him of past sins
No matter how much he tries
This red will not be gone
This red is not the meeting of hearts,
This red is the new black.
Saffron was not meant
To turn blood red.
I was fooled by your preaching
You made, your own God
Your own religion
He is your God.
He is a lie.

Jan 2, 2008

What New Year??

So like, it’s that time of the year when all of us dream of a better future, a better life, a bigger house & a fat purse. New resolutions, new!!



It’s really funny when people go like, "Dooood, what's your New Year wish?" I normally go like "Arrey maann, that's a secret". Frankly speaking, I do not have a new year wish as such(yeah, I know it sounds uncool) but that's just me. It's not like; I do not have any wish or regrets as such. C'mon, everyone has regrets. I have laawwts of 'em. But I have learnt to move on with life. And then, you get these pesky idiotic wishes of the politicians & self-styled celebs in newspapers pushing important news to the middle pages.

Headline = French President dating Italian model

Middle Page news = Aftermath of Bhutto's assassination.

Seriously, it’s degrading.

So, I came up with my own New Year wishes, not resolutions...mind you!!

* arrowI want me to get a new job, a stable one .

* arrowGraduate without any hiccups (which is usually not the case with me).idea

* arrowReduce my intake of smoke, dope & alcohol.

* arrowI want Himass to stop sneezing & wish not to see him in Karz remake dancing...for fuck's sake.

* arrowI do not want a naked parade on the streets this year again.

* arrowI wish to see India making it to the gold medal tally in this Olympics.

* arrowI wish not to see or see less of Britney's bald head, her genitals; Lindsay Lohan & Paris Hilton. Someone go tell 'em that they are rude bitches. Oh & not to forget people back home---Rakhi Sawant, Abh-Ash, Shilpa Shetty, Ekkkta KKKKKapoor.biggrin

* arrowI seriously hope India kicks some Aussie arse.mrgreen

* arrowHope Lamb Of God & In Flames tour India.

* arrowI just wish mainstream & rest of India stops viewing the North-East as some unholy land inhabited by half-naked & half-baked brained individuals with small eyes, stubbed nose & a predilection for violence.

Have a fucking amazing new year…..Will you drink to that??**Hic**confused