Meh!!

When God humped Satan!!

Dec 27, 2007

Guide to metal madness

Presuming you are a regular reader of this blog, you will pretty much know that I am proud to be loud(a.k.a. metalhead). If you are not one...no problemo...help is at hand.mrgreen I will give you you a few insights into the hows, whats, dos, donts & the likes of a metalhead. And as usual, I will keep rambling. Pardon me dear reader(main angrejhee malumm umm um)!!!

Starters guide to metal kingdom:-
  • Grow long hair .
  • You should have bad breath(okay not that much but atleast somewhere near the Britishers would be just about OK)
  • Look ugly
  • If you are wearing jeans now, that is blasphemy! Go out, buy new leather boots, leather pants, leather jackets, leather shirts(maybe even undies) & put implants under your pants so that your crotch looks .... well....appealing to the fairer sex.
  • You will mostly come across 2 types of metalheads- the glam metalhead & the serious metalhead. If you are glam, you need to put on a lot of make-up & i mean like LLLOTS of as in bucketful of make-up...so much so that it becomes awefully troublesome for people to differentiate you with a Page 3 celeb. If you are the serious type, wear corpse paint or get radium eyeballs(that scares the puke out of a healthy body)
  • If you do not take pot shots at authority(starting with Bush, America & culminating with Britney would be touchwood)....you are NOT a metalhead.
  • You must, must, must have a fascinations for things weird & kinky sex.twisted
  • You have done something good for the society & do not find yourselves being talked about at T.V. shows....you are no doubt a metalhead.
  • If you do not curse God.....that's blasphemy...you need to be Satan's child to be a metalhead.
  • The moment Dio replaces Dion in your casette or mp3 or whatever in your player, you know you are a tr00 metalhead.
Oh & I love P.S.:- If you haven't got METAL = BEER = MUSIC........I have got news for you........K.M.A.twisted

18 comments:

The Tentacles of Thought said...

U forgot gutteral vocals or the need for the lack of melody in voice.
Btw check out my new templt at
www.cloudedcrap.blogspot.com

reallyoldturtle said...

You pretty much said everything that I wanted to say. =P

Mohan said...

seein ur requirement to enter metal kingdom ... it will tak atleast a year for mee !

The Tentacles of Thought said...

Hmm..so u gt the widget naa?...i mean wats the problm...im online frm my cell so cant view the news....wat is it exactly that u want??...

sourav said...

i really like yr style of writing...yr sense of humour is gr8.
just wana say tht keep it up!

PSYCHO said...

man can u increase the font size a bit?

Shayan said...

@PSYCHO

There u go...u r done sir..hope ur poor eyes can read better now...lol!!!

ad libber said...

For a non metalhead, this is the best introductory post ever. If being a metal head is this weird a business, I am so considering it now.

rOhit said...

Lmao, nice post man. I am sure your requirements cited will be helpful to others. :P

Sid said...

nice post, u seem 2 b a big fan..btw da emoticons r lukin but ugly like dis...i hav showed in mah blog how 2 use emoticons in blog.....try dat, its gud.

KK said...

the leather bit doesnt hold anymore!
where'd u get that from btw

and u coulda made MUCH better fun of something if you'd picked a sub genre.... like brutal death, or power metal or something like that

Me said...

keep bitching!

Nothingman said...

some of the points stand true for the 80's only :P glam is dead and so is metal, its all emo now. bush bashing is fresh as a piece mouldy bread.

funny pointers though.

;)

N

Proneat said...

:D, dat was sme sarcastic humor. Nice nice..Am a heavy metal luver infact.

Vid said...

comment the blog before you facebook group.

Aditi aka Jiggs said...

heyaa
nice insight into metal
cheers
nice blog

The Lover said...

i am definitely not a metalhead...

Shimmer said...

wearin leather is hardly a prerequisite anymore... :P the rest definitely stand true...

new to ur blog.. this post caught my eye... will come bak for more...

rokk on dude! \m/