Starters guide to metal kingdom:-
- You should have bad breath(okay not that much but atleast somewhere near the Britishers would be just about OK)
- Look ugly
- If you are wearing jeans now, that is blasphemy! Go out, buy new leather boots, leather pants, leather jackets, leather shirts(maybe even undies) & put implants under your pants so that your crotch looks .... well....appealing to the fairer sex.
- You will mostly come across 2 types of metalheads- the glam metalhead & the serious metalhead. If you are glam, you need to put on a lot of make-up & i mean like LLLOTS of as in bucketful of make-up...so much so that it becomes awefully troublesome for people to differentiate you with a Page 3 celeb. If you are the serious type, wear corpse paint or get radium eyeballs(that scares the puke out of a healthy body)
- If you do not take pot shots at authority(starting with Bush, America & culminating with Britney would be touchwood)....you are NOT a metalhead.
- You must, must, must have a fascinations for things weird & kinky sex.
- You have done something good for the society & do not find yourselves being talked about at T.V. shows....you are no doubt a metalhead.
- If you do not curse God.....that's blasphemy...you need to be Satan's child to be a metalhead.
- The moment Dio replaces Dion in your casette or mp3 or whatever in your player, you know you are a tr00 metalhead.